Comfort
by Cindy Ryan
Summary: Sheppard/Keller. Missing scene for The Shrine.


Possible tissue alert :)

Title: Comfort  
Author: Cindy Ryan  
Pairings: Sheppard/Keller  
Spoilers: The Shrine  
Summary: Missing scene for The Shrine.  
Notes: I really wasn't going to do a S/K piece for this episode. With all the McKeller ship in that episode I didn't think I'd be able to work it but then this plot bunny attacked Enjoy.

For the second time that night there was a knock on the door.  
It'd been just under an hour since John Sheppard had dropped Rodney McKay back at the infirmary. His new visitor wasn't interrupting his sleep. He'd been too wired, not to mention emotionally drained after dealing with Rodney to even attempt to go back to sleep.

Padding barefoot over to the door John waved his hand over the door control.  
It slid open to reveal an exhausted Jennifer Keller.

Wordlessly John opened his arms and Jennifer folded into them letting the door shut behind her.

For a long time they just held each other.  
Offering comfort where words weren't needed.

John was the first to break the silence. "Why didn't you read me the riot act? Not that I'm complaining….but I should've told you where Rodney was."

Despite everything Jennifer smiled into his shirt. "We knew. I sent Marie after him once we realized Rodney was missing. When I heard he was with you I knew he'd be okay."

John stepped back and saw Jennifer's red rimmed eyes. He cupped her face in his hands gently brushing away a stray tear.

"Hey…."John said softly. "Don't do this…..don't beat yourself up."

"He's dying and it's my fault, John."Jennifer whispered her voice catching.

John took her right hand in his and moved them back to the bed where he pulled her into a sitting position next to him.

"You've done everything you can, angel….he knows that."

"The symptoms were there…..why didn't I see it?"

John tenderly touched her face.  
He hated that this was tearing her up inside.  
He hated that he was going to lose a good friend and there was nothing he could do.

"Because you're human, Jen. You did everything…..there was no reason to look further."

Jen nodded and melted into her fiance's arms once more.  
All she wanted to do was to curl up beside John and sleep.  
But she couldn't.  
Rodney needed her

Reluctantly Jennifer pulled away from John and stood. "I have to get back."

John shook his head, worry in his brown eyes. "Angel…you're exhausted. Stay, get a few hours sleep."

Jennifer smiled but it didn't reach her eyes. "I'm a doctor…..I'm used to no sleep."

John stood and gently gripped both her shoulders.

"Stay…..just an hour….you need it."

Jennifer wavered…..she was so tired…..it'd be so easy just to lie down next to John.

But Rodney didn't have an hour……if she rested she might be wasting precious time that she might come up with the cure.

Jennifer shook her head. "I….."

John moved closer touching her face. "Angel, you can't keep going like this. You won't be any help to him if you don't take care of yourself."

Jennifer nodded and laced hands with John as he pulled her back toward the bed. She kicked off her shoes as he pulled the covers back.

Jennifer snuggled into John's arms as he pulled the blanket back over them.

"He wanted to say goodbye to me, Jen."John began softly after a few minutes. "I wouldn't let him…..I couldn't….."

Jen heard his voice tremble and she turned so she was facing him. "It's alright to have hope, John. I still think I can find a treatment…."

John reached out and tenderly brushed a stray hair away from her face. "I don't want to give up on him, I don't…..but when he said he wanted to say goodbye."John shook his head."It just got me to a place I didn't want to be. Never did I think I'd be the last one of our original team. If anything I thought I'd be the first to go."

Jennifer swallowed hard. "I'm grateful………"she trailed off not being able to put her feelings into words. The thought of her life without John Sheppard….she couldn't imagine it…..they'd become so entwined

John kissed her hoping that she knew how much she was keeping him sane

When they broke apart Jennifer sighed.

John lifted her chin so she met his gaze. "What is it, angel?"

Tearfully Jennifer said quietly. "Rodney told me he loved me. John, what do I do with that?"

John's hand stilled. His thoughts immediately went to the alternate timeline where Rodney and Jennifer had been a couple.  
Maybe she and Rodney were meant to be?  
If Rodney by some miracle recovered would he pursue Jen?  
What if Rodney won her heart after all?  
John didn't know if he could stand losing her to a friend.

"John?"Jennifer prompted worriedly; maybe she shouldn't have told him. But she also knew she couldn't keep it from him.

John swallowed hard knowing this conversation was so wrong on so many levels considering Rodney's current state. But he had to know where her head was.

"Do I have competition?"John asked his voice barely above a whisper.

Jennifer shook her head taking his outstretched hand in hers. "No, of course you don't. I love Rodney as a friend….I don't want to hurt him. My heart is with you, John, always will be."

John nodded and with a sigh turned Jennifer around so he could pull her back against him. He wrapped his arms tightly around her.

"What do I do with this, John?"Jennifer asked again feeling tears begin to well up again.

"Treat it as the gift that it is, angel."John replied softly. "He probably won't remember telling you. Rodney knows we're together….more than likely he just wanted you to know….that was his goodbye to you."

"I don't want to say goodbye….."Jennifer whispered." I want him at our wedding, John."

John closed his eyes fighting the tears. "So do I, angel…..so do I."

Exhaustion started to win and Jennifer felt her eyes close.

"There has to be something I'm not seeing."Jennifer said softly. "Some way to cure it."

"If there is."John whispered. "I know you'll find it."

Jennifer drifted off into a troubled, dreamless sleep.

John heard her breathing change and knew she was asleep. He kissed her forehead and settled back against the pillow.

Sleep never came for him.

end


End file.
